I have no idea what his official relationship with her is, but he comes out of this looking pretty crappy re: her. If you should be uncomfortable with that – and you also have actually every right to be uncomfortable with that – cut him loose. Published by Catseye at 12:56 AM on January 19, 2013 6 favorites
Which will be much more likely, statistically:
1. Some body cheats on some other person after which lies about this 2. Somebody comprises a complete relationship inside their mind, connections somebody about this in a situation of total delusion
I am going with no. 1. Posted by 3491again at 1:20 have always been on January 19, 2013 8 favorites
Therefore let’s imagine you’re involved in some guy that is new well as this FWB. Casual thing, no suggestion of cheating. And something day, brand New man comes for your requirements and states “therefore, uh, this appears odd, but some body by the title of Old FWB Guy just contacted me on Twitter and stated he had been the man you’re seeing, however you kept cheating on him beside me, even although you and him tried to make it happen after your event. What’s happening here? “
Would your reaction to that be totally blase? Or even to state you might keep on seeing the man whom’d simply done that?
You already have all of the given information you’ll need about that situation.
Using it further than this, if you head to him with questions regarding his mindset, i do believe he can frame this while you being an other woman scorned whom simply could not get an adequate amount of him and whose emotions he’s got no responsibility to take into account. Posted by tel3path at 1:51 AM on January 19, 2013 4 favorites
We confronted him about this- he had been completely blase and claimed which he knew she had more powerful feelings for him, than he did on her behalf, which he ended up being maybe not her boyfriend, but that she ended up being their other FWB. Then I asked him her, he said I don’t know- wtf if he was going to continue to see!
I’m not understanding from whence comes the overwhelming conclusion in this thread that this person is lying for your requirements and it is news that is bad. This will not be the first-time we’ve seen a multi-partner situation where one party is obvious in the FWB component (him) and also the other celebration continues to be saying “boyfriend” (her). So basically: exactly exactly what this person is saying for you does not hit me personally as implausible. At all.
I am therefore confused. We agreed to a intimate, but casual relationship which was clearly maybe not exclusive.
Well beside me he had been pretty straighforward, At his word, it sounds to me like that’s exactly what you’ve got, and one of his other non-exclusive partners may be having some issues with the definition of “FWB. ” posted by DarlingBri at 3:01 AM on January 19, 2013 unless you have some other reason not to take him
I am a swayed that is little. We’ll amend my response to state that when your instinct is the fact that you are not receiving a good therapy you somehow, that’s shitty from him and that he’s actually betraying.
I assume something that’s confusing is also though this indicates to own been correct that you can both pursue other lovers – that your particular arrangement was “a intimate, but casual relationship which was clearly not exclusive” – had you agreed with each other that you would reveal other partnerships? If you don’t, i can not really see what he did incorrect. That is between him therefore the other partner, despite her make an effort to drag you involved with it.
Then there was a betrayal, because you didn’t know about Partner #1 when you became Partner #2 if you did. And Partner number 1 did not know about yourself – which will be really even worse, since he had been most likely lying to her – until recently, it feels like. It seems from her and she was a secret from you, she may have had more hopes for the relationship, and when she found out about you she must have assumed it was a recent short-term affair, since you say she didn’t know you had been FWB that long with him like you were a secret. So she believes all ended up being going swimmingly before you came along. Whenever, needless to say, that which was really taking place is the fact that guy ended up being resting with both of you.
It really is most likely impractical to diagnose the actual nature for the relationship also by piecing together each of these conflicting accounts. They’re providing you with extremely perspectives that are different and thus it may certainly be confusing about which to trust or whether to trust what the man claims. But I nevertheless believe that does not actually matter that you were pursuing if you didn’t have an agreement to disclose other partners. This can be between your two of those, and whatever it works away in the years ahead can be between your two of those. He may be a shady, awful man, which appears feasible, nevertheless the thing to have un-confused about continues to be exactly what your very own demands have been in a relationship, also an easy FWB one. It is ok to not ever trust him even if all of the evidence you’ve got is the fact that you simply feel just like one thing’s fishy. That you do not owe anbody your trust and you may revoke it whenever you want. You might also move away simply because it looks like the problem is just a little drama-filled and that is maybe maybe not your thing. That you do not actually need a explanation. I would state the primary thing is to take into account your expectations and what you will really require and accept as time goes on. You dudes just weren’t in the exact same web page. Posted by Miko at 6:14 AM on 19, 2013 2 favorites january
“I’m not sure whom to trust. If she had been certainly their gf, this isn’t an individual I would personally also be buddies with, never ever mind the huge benefits! Then that is a new situation. When they were fwb and she dropped for him. Do I need to just drop him? Can there be any solution to get in the truth?
You state which you have actually a relationship that is friends-with-benefits. But just how long had been you buddies before it became clear that either one of you were interested in benefits of any sort with him for? Had been the context by which you met him one in which buddies would fulfill, or ended up being it one out of which individuals would date and possibly attach?
I believe one’s heart for the issue let me reveal it’s probably you entered in to a non-serious relationship that is sexual some one you actually don’t know. It was called by you one thing you felt confident with, nevertheless now you are not therefore sure. Now you look at the character and integrity of the explicitly not exclusive “friend” to be a possible dealbreaker. However you can not make the best judgment on that, since you do not truly know him all of that well.
And then he states “I do not know”, when it comes to whether he’s planning to see her. This means, yes he can, if he is able to. If she will let him. In the event that you’ll allow him. In the event that sensed price of doing this is significantly less than the huge benefits. He likes making love with various females. Whom states that it is simply you two? There could have now been several more ladies which he led on to get them to fall asleep with him, simply to retreat once they started getting severe. That you don’t know, however the probability of this is certainly that which you enrolled in with a clearly perhaps not relationship that is exclusive.
I am polyamorous / non-monogamous. Have now been freely therefore adultspace app for approximately fifteen years. The majority of that right time i’ve resided with my spouse along with 1 of 2 other lovers. One for around 7 years, and another going back eighteen months or more. Been with my spouse for around 23 years. Therefore I have actually quite a good background for very long, fairly healthy poly relationships.